Having post-concussion syndrome PCS
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
‘GIVE ME A BREAK’; that is what my mind is telling me, well actually it’s my brain and not my mind howling it, and it has been for the past weeks (well maybe a bit longer). If it was my mind deciding I would be as fit as a fiddle and no time for being sick.
Unfortunately my mind has no power over my brain. At least not in this case.
Why I’m here, but less, is because I am suffering from post-concussion syndrome, also known as post-concussive syndrome or PCS
My problem, besides from having PCS, is I find it very difficult to rest and not doing a whole lot. And by time I have learned that when you have a brain injury it’s very important to rest and relax. I’m NOT good at that. I think we very often are our selves worst enemy. If you think about it and think how bad you often treat yourself when you’re sick. You wouldn’t dream of treating your best friend like this, you would think that you were awful if you treated anybody like that and yet we do it to our selves, without hesitating.
It’s like on the airplane. If the air-mask drops down you immediately turn to the one sitting next to you, making sure he or she is OK. When actually you should help yourself first. There is a very good reason for you to help yourself first in that airplane. If YOU do not function how can you help others?
And whether I like it or not I have to start thinking more about ME and you dear reader will for a period of time get less of me. That means that my posts will be less and they will be short. That’s it!!
So how did I get PCS?
My concussion started in mid May 2014 when I hit my head towards my car, twice with a couple of weeks apart.
I was in a hurry and stressed out. The first time I get a splitting headache, canceled my appointments and rested for a couple of days. One and a half week later I was on my way to another appointment; an art exhibition and again I slammed my head against the door-frame.
When I enter my car with my electric wheelchair I go up a steep ramp. I go up backwards because it’s easier to get in place inside the car that way. Because the ramp is pretty steep I go pretty fast so when hitting the back of my head it was pretty hard.
The second time I actually didn’t feel any pain other than the bump. I was on my way to get ready for the art exhibition. On the contrary til the last time I bumped my head against the car, I didn’t get any headache until the next evening. And then it was as if I was hit by lightning. My eyes could not stand any light and I was immediately off to bed.
The next day wasn’t any better and it stayed like that a couple of months. Then it slowly got better and I was able to do things other than sit in a veggie meditation position.
My life began once again and little by little I got better.
In July I had a group art exhibition in Berlin and I felt strong enough to go. But with the promise to myself that I would take care and do things slow. And I did!! I actually behaved extremely well only to have everything ruined on the way back home (by car).
Just leaving Berlin the rain started and before we left the suburbs the rain came down with a force I have rarely seen in Europe. It was quite similar to a typical tropical rain.
The rain got worse and within half an hour the rain stood twenty centimeters high and the worst cloudburst I’ve ever seen started and continued for the next four hours until we reached the Danish border.
On the highway a lot of cars were parked on the side of the road. People were afraid of driving in such bad conditions.
To me it was like hell. The sound of thunder, rain, lightning and hail slamming against the car was DEAFENING and I knew it would ruin everything with my already sensitive head. I felt trapped in a tin can with nowhere to go. Everywhere we looked around there was lightning and thunderstorms — the rain poured from the sky.
I tried to block out the sounds. I closed my eyes and had several scarves around my head and covering my eyes and my ears to try to keep out light and sounds. Nothing helped.
So here I’m 7,5 months later, with no energy, headaches and, well here’s a list of how I actually feel like — I have:
- headaches 24/7
- dizziness, spiced up by dizziness with a spinning sensation
- feeling of sickness and nausea
- blurred vision
- hearing loss and a several ringing noises in the ears (tinnitus)
- problems tolerating light and noise
- lack of energy
- washed out
- difficulty remembering things and
- lack of concentration
And just for the fun of it; on top of this I also have PTSD, but that is another story. . perhaps to come later. Having post-concussion syndrome PCS, is no picnic I will tell you. But I’m optimistic I’ll
So now you are familiar with my situation and I’m taking a break, because my brain says so. I’m here, but less. . .
H A P P Y NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!!
— I wish you a beautiful and adventurous 2015
I know my hope for 2015 is a lot less illness. 2014 was really bad for me. . .